Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Big Screen Angst (Kind Of But Not At All): Johnny Simmons in Jennifer's Body

I fully admit - this post's a total cheat. But you see, I happened to meet Johnny Simmons in real life (that magical place where the live people are) and not only was he totally cute but he was really friendly with a fun ADD boy energy. 

Johnny Simmons as Chip in Jennifer's Body Johnny Simmons as Chip in Jennifer's Body Johnny Simmons as Chip in Jennifer's Body
So, like the internet creepster I am, I decided to get a bunch of screen grabs from Jennifer's Body and post them for all to see.

Johnny Simmons as Chip in Jennifer's Body and Amanda Seyfried as Needy in Jennifer's Body Chip and Needy Johnny Simmons and Amanda Seyfried
Johnny Simmons as Chip in Jennifer's Body and Amanda Seyfried as Needy in Jennifer's Body Chip and Needy Johnny Simmons and Amanda Seyfried
It's not a very good movie. It could have been a good movie and that makes its badness even more noticeable. My biggest qualm were the insane tonal shifts between cynical dark humor and really sad sad shit. Like... spoiler alert... it was really sad when Johnny Simmons died...

Johnny Simmons as Chip in Jennifer's Body and Amanda Seyfried as Needy in Jennifer's Body Chip and Needy Johnny Simmons and Amanda Seyfried
Frankly, it was sad when anyone died. Including Jennifer. And horror movies of this variety shouldn't be sad. No one wants to watch Megan Fox be all sex kitten while simultaneously pondering the tragedy of teenage death: Lives un-lived. Dreams unrealized. Gone-too-soon kind of stuff.

But there are cannibals! Wee!!

Johnny Simmons as Chip in Jennifer's Body Johnny Simmons as Chip in Jennifer's Body Johnny Simmons as Chip in Jennifer's Body
Johnny Simmons as Chip in Jennifer's Body Johnny Simmons as Chip in Jennifer's Body Johnny Simmons as Chip in Jennifer's Body
Johnny Simmons as Chip in Jennifer's Body Johnny Simmons as Chip in Jennifer's Body Johnny Simmons as Chip in Jennifer's Body
Johnny Simmons as Chip in Jennifer's Body Johnny Simmons as Chip in Jennifer's Body Johnny Simmons as Chip in Jennifer's Body
Umm... but Johnny Simmons rulz. And his current hair cut suits him. The end.

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